


Secrets

by Izzu



Category: BBC Drama, Merlin (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-25
Updated: 2012-01-26
Packaged: 2017-11-10 06:59:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/463493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Izzu/pseuds/Izzu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Offshots to Vigil. Now that Merlin's awake, Arthur braced himself for the revelation that was coming. But just how many secrets that Merlin was having? Post Season 4.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Stray fingers brushed the side of his head as that felt welcoming. He barely remembered when was the last time he had received that kind of gesture. Though mostly that had came from his father, cold and unbending and unreasonable at times; but he knew that his late father had loved him so much. He missed his father's touch. Gwen occasionally did similar gestures like this as well... though he preferred her not doing that so often. It made him feel as if he was back to being the child he used to be, but he was king now and such behaviours were unbecoming. Still, it was a nice feeling... being loved.   
  
Had his mother not died after giving birth to him, would her touch be something like this? Few times he had watched Merlin and Hunith from afar and had a glimpse of their private moments. Occasionally he felt envy at Merlin.   
  
_Merlin..._   
  
Arthur's eyes snapped open as that sensation on his head remained. He blinked.  _No, it was not a dream_ . But he could not feel Gwen; or anyone else spare Merlin, inside this small room. And even if there were... it would be such an odd angle—but that should mean...!   
  
Arthur shot up to his seat as he swayed a bit due to lying on the side of his head for too long. He shook his head before turning towards the person lying on the bed.   
  
"Merlin! You woke up!" he gasped, as the frail-looking sor—man smiled at him weakly. Suddenly, all the weight he was feeling for these few days lightened tremendously.   
  
"You made it... I thought you're going to die!" he exclaimed again before Merlin gave him an odd look, probably starting to recall the events of the past few days.   
  
"Well, for now. I don't think there was any chance that you didn't remember...  _that time_ ..."   
  
Arthur hastily placed a finger on his—former?—friend's lips before speaking.   
  
"Don't. Save that for another day..." he said before burying his face on the thin mattress on Merlin's bed, face just inches from Merlin's neck. "I'm tired... and sleepy. Right now I'm only relieved that you're not dead and not wanting to care about anything else for the moment. Can we pretend that what I saw the other day did not happen? At least for a few days. Let me believe that my old servant and  _friend_  was still the same person as I used to know him—"   
  
Merlin gave Arthur a peculiar look.   
  
"I  _am_ ... _still_  the same person you know, Arthur..."   
  
"—that clumsy fool that I'm familiar of and not this  _stranger_  who had magic all these times..."   
  
Merlin felt something painfully sharp on his chest as he heard that bit. It definitely not going to be any easier for them from now on...   
  
"... just, give me  _time_ ."   
  
Time... huh? He could do that. Seeing as Arthur have not killed him yet must mean he was at a lost over this situation as well.   
  
"You needed time... eh? Guess I shouldn't be forcing you to accept who I am right now. Seeing that it's  _my neck_  I'm risking still," he said before Arthur clobbered him half-heartedly on the chest. He coughed out in pain—the nerve of Arthur to suddenly hit him!—before sighing. "That aside, if you're so sleepy... go back to your own sleeping chambers, you dollop-head. Gwen would be lonely by herself."   
  
Merlin could feel Arthur's grip on his shoulder tightened. Well, they might not have any more chance to tease each other like this in the future again so why not pretend everything was still the way it used to? And from the way Arthur gripped his shoulder, it did seemed as if he needed that as well.   
  
"She'd understand. Not like I have to spend every nights in her chambers anyhow. I might as well sleep in my own chambers,  _alone_  by myself. Won't make a difference, regardless. I almost lost a  _very_  dear friend for your information and I have all the right to stay by  _his_  side for as long as possible even after I know that _he_  managed to survive."   
  
Merlin snorted. "I feel honoured. Not sure if I should be glad that you  _still_  regarded me as your friend—"   
  
"Merlin shut up! Don't make me think!" Merlin let out an unmanly giggle as he could barely feel Arthur already falling asleep by his side. He sighed as he turned his eyes towards the ceiling. Going back to sleep again would be hard. Finally that time when Arthur finally learnt of his secret arrived and he was not sure of what going to happen next. Things might not be able to return to the way they used to...   
  
Merlin frowned at the thought of Arthur pushing him away; banishing him for lying about his identity... or worse, being executed like those other unfortunate innocents that had been killed during Uther's reign...   
  
The very thought of it scared him. Even more if it was Arthur doing all those things to him. He could not bear it... he had grown so attached to Arthur all these years serving as his manservant, that kind of cruel fate—Arthur did not deserve that. To inflict such pain onto Arthur... to make  _him_  kill his own friend...   
  
Merlin sighed. Sleep might be a bit hard for him to do now. Yet surprisingly, he did fall asleep as Arthur's soft breath brushing his cheek lulled him into a peaceful slumber.   
  
xxx   
  
It had been almost a week since that night, and Merlin mostly recovered his strength from the injury he sustained. Yet Arthur remained distant towards him as if reluctant to approach the topic. Even when he gradually resumed his former duties—Arthur still insisted on that for some reason—Merlin found it awkward to try raising the topic again.   
  
No one else knew that he had used magic the other day, only that he had gotten hurt while trying to protect Arthur; who had been lured away from the protection of his loyal knight into a trap.   
  
Now that he had time to gather his thoughts, he felt that he should have suspected that there was something amiss. During the regular patrol he was in while accompanying Arthur, the forest area had suddenly grew unnaturally foggy. While that should not have easily shaken the Knights of Camelot, the voices that suddenly rang out all around them; seemingly coming from nowhere amidst the thick fog, was enough to cause confusion to the party. It had been chaotic... and confusing, the voices had alarmed the horses to throw their riders off from their mounts; in that everyone had scattered blindly around, either to attempt to find each other... to find their escaped steed, or to evade being trampled or attacked by unseen enemies.   
  
He panicked when he lost sight of Arthur—belatedly realizing the true aim of the attack, to take down Arthur before aiming for Camelot—to the point that he had considered using his magic at the risk of being found out. He had tried calling out to Gwaine and the other knights but for some reason, they only end up straying even further from each other. Hearing the occasionally cries of distress, it seemed even  _they_  had their own troubles to worry about. He finally decided to risk it after all while keeping his voice low, using his magic to lift the fog slightly to allow him to see his surroundings a little bit clearer in order to look for Arthur. He almost despaired before noticing a glimpse of Morgana and arriving at the nick of time to find Arthur being cornered. Arthur still held Excalibur in hand, by which he was glad. He could not imagine what would happen should Morgana acquired it.   
  
Even still, Morgana had almost got Arthur cornered towards the edge of the cliff, that could not be good. He watched Arthur clashed swords against Morgana worriedly as he made his way towards them. Noticing the overlooking branch above them, he cast a spell to let the branch crash down towards Morgana. The ruse almost worked in allowing Arthur chance to back away from the cliff but Morgana tactfully cast another blocking spell towards Arthur as she noticed the movement. He had gasped in alarm as Arthur was thrown aback, Excalibur flying away from his grasp.   
  
He had immediately summoned for Kilgharrah before using his magic to recall Excalibur into his hand.   
  
" _It seemed your luck had ran out... brother. Prepare to die!"_   
  
He remembered how Morgana had laughed at Arthur as he hastily ran towards them. As Morgana chanted her fiery spell towards Arthur, he had quickly pushed Arthur aside before taking out Excalibur to block the attack. The sword barely diverted the attack as he bore the full brunt of it. It was reckless of him but it was so sudden that he could barely thought up of a spell to counter it.   
  
Merlin could still remember how painful his whole body had been then. But Morgana was still standing and he would not risk Arthur's safety should he collapsed so soon. That was why he had used his magic to strike Morgana. He never thought that doing that in that current state would lead to the spell being too powerful. As Morgana was thrown away from his attack, he barely remembered the sensation of  _falling_ ... and Arthur calling out to him.   
  
Merlin snorted to himself. He never thought he would have survived that. Though right now...   
  
Merlin hesitated to knock on Arthur's chambers before the door suddenly opened to reveal the man himself.   
  
xxx   
  
"Merlin..."   
  
Said man continued behaving distractedly as he quietly did the usual chores inside the room. Arthur frowned at him. He had been planning to start another round of lecture about how Merlin was late again—it was rare for Arthur to get up so early in the morning without help—but looking at Merlin at the moment, he had not the heart to do it. The unresolved issue of the last few nights must have been weighing on Merlin's shoulders as much as his, but Arthur could not find the words to try to talk about it with Merlin. Guess he was partially at fault for prolonging this awkwardness between them.   
  
It had been too long anyhow, even the knights and other servants started to notice that there was something wrong between them. Before the matter started to get complicated, better for them to talk this out between themselves in order to find the best solution to solve this problem.   
  
When Merlin was still unconscious, he had a talk with Gaius. The old man had been very reluctant to talk about it but after convincing him that he would not punish Merlin rashly, Gaius finally let up on him. It was hard for him to fully understand the weight of the situation but perhaps once Merlin was awake, maybe they could find a way to make things work. Perhaps hearing the truth from Merlin himself would help him to properly understand what was happening.   
  
It hurt to think that Merlin had been hiding a big secret from him for so long, but it hurt even more to see Merlin being scared of him. It was just too strange. He expected that from the other servants in the castle... but not Merlin. Not  _his_  Merlin. It hurt to think that after all they have gone through in the past, Merlin would not trust him with his secret. Though... he could understand why Merlin would be wary of him. He had not been shy on showing his dislike over anything magic. But still...   
  
"Merlin."   
  
It was either he was being ignored... or that Merlin was so nervous that he barely noticed his name being called. Arthur glanced down to see Merlin's hands shaking as he gathered the empty plates and silver on his table. Was he  _that_  intimidating now? With all the magic that Merlin has, why should he be so afraid of a magic-less Arthur?   
  
Without thinking, Arthur grabbed Merlin towards his bed... as the man gasped in surprise and the silver dropped to the floor, forgotten. Merlin felt his heart thumping wildly as Arthur sat on the bed, right beside him. Oddly, no one took notice of the commotion but that was probably because they were so used to Merlin's clumsiness...   
  
Arthur stared silently at his  _old_  friend, ignoring the alarmed look the other was giving him.   
  
"Calm down, Merlin. I just want to talk... you  _know_  me for a long time now. Trust me to be able to think things proper."   
  
Merlin stared towards Arthur suspiciously before shaking his head slowly. "If... you say so,  _Arthur_ . Though I've seen your anger before, with Morgana... Gwen... Agravaine's betrayal—I've seen your reaction when people betrayed you... or when you  _think_  they've betrayed you... and I've seen a glimpse of your reaction should my secret was out long time ago in Ealdor and you have no idea how terrified I am for your reaction when you  _really_  find out for real and we had got along so well with each other I can't really imagine not being friends again after that or  _worse_  if you would have had me executed. And since when have  _you_  been able to think things calmly, eh... though I know you're not as distrustful of magic as your father—"   
  
Arthur started shaking Merlin before he could continue rambling incessantly.   
  
"Merlin! Shut up."   
  
Merlin immediate stopped talking before looking at Arthur warily. "So... time to talk?"   
  
Arthur nodded.   
  
"About my magic?" he asked again as Arthur nodded.   
  
"Yes, about everything..."   
  
xxx   
  
Arthur let out a long sigh.   
  
"So in the end, it's all about destiny?"   
  
Merlin gave him a peculiar look before shaking his head. "Well,  _maybe_ . Destiny may have played a part of pushing me towards always protecting you from the shadows, but as time went on... I  _did_  earnestly wanted to protect you with everything I had. Destiny or no destiny."   
  
Merlin gave Arthur a weak smile. "Because I cannot bear to see you getting hurt. It's excruciatingly painful to see you  _dying_ , even worse when it almost seemed like I could not help you. And all those times I saved—or tried to save—your father, even Morgana... I did it because of you. It's no fun to see you being so sad. I confess, I'm not  _really_  that fond of your father... back when he used to be alive."   
  
Arthur snorted. "Yeaa... especially since he always sent you to the stocks when you did anything wrong?" Merlin elbowed him hard as he chuckled hesitantly.   
  
"So... you really  _are_  that old sorcerer..." Merlin looked at him as Arthur shrugged. "Gaius told me a bit. Or more like slipped out more than he intended to. He kept insisting that you're not to be blamed..."   
  
"Well, that was true!" He pouted. "If I knew there would be  _some_ attempt by other people to turn my magic against me and caused your father to die even faster, I wouldn't have done it. I don't want you to hate magic than you already have."   
  
Arthur blinked, before shaking his head.   
  
"I knew it. I always thought those eyes were  _oddly_  familiar... I just can't place it."   
  
Merlin snorted.   
  
"Well, it was interesting to note that you  _only_  started to treat me well  _when_ I'm like  _eighty years_  old."   
  
Arthur jabbed him from the side. "Don't push it... I don't  _always_  treat you so bad normally. So  _that_ explains how Dragoon seemed overly concerned about me treating my  _manservant_  badly..."   
  
Merlin averted his eyes as he fought to remain neutral. "Well, with all your faults... you're not that bad aside from being a silly prat. It's hard to list out anything else  _remotely_  bad about you."   
  
Arthur snorted as Merlin thought he said something about him being _so charming_ . The silence returned again as Arthur let out an awkward laugh.   
  
"So... since  _when_ ?"   
  
Merlin's eyes flitted towards Arthur before shrugging.   
  
"Since I was born. The magic had always been there... even before I learnt to walk."   
  
Arthur nodded his head. Merlin stared at him amused.   
  
"You're awfully  _calm_  about this..."   
  
Arthur shrugged. "I had a lot of time to simmer down my anger... as well as to think. It's not that chivalrous to cold-bloodedly  _kill_  someone who saved my life... anyway. Especially for someone who had always claimed that he saved my life more than I could count." Merlin unexpectedly let out a snort as Arthur continued. "That aside... the very fact that you had been lying unmoving on the bed for several days and the fact you were still my old Merlin until that day, well... there were a lot of things that stopped me from doing crazy or stupid things. I won't get my explanations anyway if you had died so soon."   
  
Silence again, as Merlin bit his lips.   
  
"... how's that possible?"   
  
Merlin turned to him, confused... before realising that Arthur was responding to his earlier statement. He sighed.   
  
"I don't even know. Even Gaius never heard of anyone else who had born already having magic."   
  
"Must be hard..." Arthur commented.   
  
" _Very_ . Even if Ealdor was not under Camelot's rule, it's still hard. I always had to hide the fact I had magic from everyone. It was lonely, being different. It's hard to fit in comfortably, especially in a small village like Ealdor where it's not easy to blend in among the crowds for the lack of it. I'm never that good at controlling my powers... at least until I came here."   
  
Arthur stared at him sceptically. "Here? Where it's more dangerous for you because of your magic?"   
  
Merlin shrugged. "There're more people living here compared to Ealdor. And not everyone know each other so well unlike in the village. I can easily hide myself amongst the crowd as long as I'm careful with my magic. I could fit in better in Camelot than in Ealdor, since I'd be sticking out less like a sore thumb here."   
  
"So... you found your place  _here_  in Camelot, with me? Despite the hardship?" Arthur asked as Merlin glanced at him, wondering if he was recalling that old conversation back then when he had asked him the reason why he had left Ealdor. Merlin grinned sheepishly.   
  
"That time in Ealdor, with your old friend... in truth, it was  _you_  he was covering, wasn't it? That  _was_  the earliest incident when your secret had almost got out. That time... did you actually meant to tell me about this?"   
  
Merlin's smile cracked as he thought of his old friend, Will, before nodding.   
  
"Yeah, but Will stopped me. Added with the fact he took the arrow meant for you, he thought he could protect my secret along. Back then, I  _wanted_  to tell you about it. Many times before and since then, I've _always_  wanted to tell you the truth... but—" Merlin shrugged. "Will accidentally found out about my secret when I was younger. He's the only other person who knew about it, but it was enough reason for mother to send me away to Camelot."   
  
Arthur sighed again.   
  
"As I thought... you're bad at keeping secrets."   
  
Merlin elbowed him. "I am  _not_ , I beg your pardon! I've been able to keep this from you for a long time after all!"   
  
Arthur stared at him pointedly. "You almost did before your friend cut you off. And before that, you have unthinkingly confessed to save Gwen. Lucky for you I didn't buy it then..."   
  
Merlin frowned at him. "Well, Gwen was in danger of being executed that time because of me—don't change the subject, I was talking about what happened at Ealdor—to say the least, unfortunately I didn't confess  _again_ ... you did seemed particularly vexed about it at the thought that  _I was_  the one that conjured that whirlwind—"   
  
Arthur jumped.   
  
"Well  _you're_  about to confess in public that you have magic— _you_ , being _my_ servant and Camelot being opposed to anything magic—don't you think I have a right to be alarmed? How'd you suppose I could protect you in that kind of situation?"   
  
Merlin stared at him in disbelief.   
  
"Right. I don't see you being protective of me when Gaius—being possessed by a goblin—revealed I had magic!"   
  
Arthur kicked Merlin's leg. "That's different! That time my father was around—even if I wanted to help you I wouldn't have been able to if I openly fight my own father. Not like I was even prepared for that! I don't even  _know_  you really  _really_  had magic and only been using them to protect me and that magic was not entirely evil. If I'd known..." Arthur paused as he realised he was not making any more sense. "Besides, my father rarely listened to anything the moment he hears that magic was involved. You remember that thing with Gwen..."   
  
Merlin nodded thoughtfully before Arthur spoke again.   
  
"Who else knew? Besides Gaius... and of course, your mother."   
  
Merlin shrugged.   
  
"Aside from the druids and the other people who had magic that I've encountered in the past? No one... but Lancelot. He found out by accident, during the griffin incident."   
  
"Lancelot  _knew_ ?" Arthur asked in surprise as Merlin nodded pointedly.   
  
"He kept it a secret... seeing I  _mostly_  used it to save your bottom."   
  
Arthur stared at Merlin with amusement. "Mostly?"   
  
Merlin grinned slightly. "You don't think with all the chores you and Gaius threw at me that I won't use _some_  magic to aid myself?"   
  
"Just  _chores_ ?"   
  
Merlin noticed the eye-rolling as he averted his eyes away. Now that he finally let it all out to Arthur, it did not seem as easy to keep it all in again.   
  
"There were some other things... but it's useless to talk about it now..." said Merlin as he fought to not show off his grin. He thought of the things he used to do in the past... which included a lot of ridiculous things to date. From now on Arthur would definitely know who to blame in case his pants mysteriously fall off again... or if his food mysteriously vanished. He immediately sobered up as he realised that this was not the time to make jokes.   
  
Arthur stared at him suspiciously as if not fooled by the look of innocence Merlin gave. But suddenly he frowned.   
  
"Have you ever thought of killing me? Because I always said such things to you even though I rarely meant it  _literally_  and there must be a time you might feel the same but honestly..."   
  
"It's the same to me... though there was  _one time_  I really wanted to kill you.  _Literally_ ..." Merlin could feel Arthur stiffened beside him before adding. "—but that's because Morgana placed a Fomorrah head on me to control me and make me try to kill you. Which is practically  _useless_  since I was so clumsy about it and destiny often made it certain that I don't succeed. I make a stupid assassin if there  _is_  one..."   
  
Merlin kicked Arthur lightly as he caught him snorting over the last line. He smiled weakly. Somehow, seeing that Arthur continued being so calm while he explained everything... brought relief in his own heart. Perhaps because of the circumstances on  _how_ Arthur ended up finding out... or the fact that he had time to think things over—maybe it would not be so bad after all. That destiny both of them shared... about Albion, things might not be that hopeless still...   
  
"Um Merlin..." Arthur suddenly spoke. Merlin turned to him as Arthur cocked his head. "How did you know about this...  _destiny_  you kept on and on about anyway?"   
  
Merlin shrugged.   
  
"The Great Dragon told me," he said matter-of-factly, as if that was the most obvious thing to know.   
  
Arthur whistled. "Hmmm... you seemed to be so close with that one. Though I thought the Great Dragon's already  _dead_ ..."   
  
Arthur stared at him pointedly before Merlin turned to face him. He shrugged.   
  
"Well... yeah. That was interesting... wasn't it?" said Merlin before Arthur gave him a reproachful look. "He was my kin... I mean, Kilgharrah. I can't—what did you mean I seemed to be so close with him?"   
  
Arthur raised his shoulders. "Well I can't help noticing—that dragon had a name?—after seeing how that dragon appeared a bit protective over  _you_  when it saved us from falling off a cliff. I got quite a scolding when it thought I wanted to kill you." Merlin stared at Arthur suspiciously as Arthur hastily changed the topic. "And you still haven't answered my question."   
  
"I'm a Dragonlord. And obviously—even if Kilgharrah made the mistake of attacking Camelot that time, you can't blame him for holding a grudge—I can't kill the very last dragon on this world, can I?"   
  
"And now there are  _two_ ..." Arthur added testily as Merlin unthinkingly nodded his head—hinting that he _was_  aware of that there was another—before continuing.   
  
"This doesn't make any sense. If  _you're_ a Dragonlord... what's the point of us searching for the  _last_ Dragonlord back then if you  _are_  one?"   
  
Merlin rolled his eyes.   
  
" _That_  time I wasn't  _yet_  a Dragonlord much less the  _last_  one, so there's still a need to go on that mission after all.  _Back then_ ."   
  
Arthur frowned. "Wait... so what's the relation between Balinor and  _you_ ? Why is it that you ended up being a Dragonlord after his death?"   
  
"He's my father."   
  
Arthur hung his mouth at him as Merlin continued. "Seeing that I  _am_  confessing my secrets to you I might as well drop the whole bunch on you all at once, don't you think? Make it easier for you to decide whether or not you want to kill me or keep me alive."   
  
Arthur continued gaping at him, wordlessly before Sir Leon suddenly knocked on the door and walked in into the chamber.   
  
"Oh! Pardon me... Sire," said Leon apologetically before bowing his head. Merlin looked at the older knight in amusement. The man was probably wondering why the king and his manservant had been idly sitting on the king's bed, chatting—as if that was the most normal thing to do.   
  
Arthur blinked before turning towards Leon.   
  
"Sire, you're needed at the council room. There are matters to be discussed..." said the knight as Arthur nodded.   
  
"Y-yes... I hear you. I'll be there in a moment," he said before dismissing Leon away. The knight bowed before excusing himself from the room. Arthur turned back towards Merlin.   
  
"You, stay here. Go polish my armour, scrub the floors, tidy up the room—everything else that you could think of while remaining here, just do it. We'll resume this talk when I return. If I see you running off I'll wring your neck for all it's worth!"   
  
Merlin grinned.   
  
"Yes, sire," he said before suddenly stopping him as Arthur was about to leave.   
  
Merlin frowned. "By the way,  _Arthur_ ... what did you mean when you said there were  _two_  dragons? I only remembered calling Kilgharrah for help."   
  
Arthur paused before giving Merlin a long look. Without answering the question, he immediately walked out and closed the door behind him.   
  
Merlin need not know that he saw a white dragon flying towards Morgana before falling off the cliff a few days ago.


	2. Chapter 2

" _I ought to kill you now for everything you've told me this morning!"_   
  
Merlin was staring at Arthur in shock. He had returned very abruptly, slamming the door behind him as if something troubling just happened. What was it that Sir Leon had him called to be discussed? As far as he remembered he had done nothing to merit Arthur's anger, considering he had been mostly concerned of his own well-being and personal worries. Did Arthur intend to blame him of every wrongdoings in this kingdom now that he knew he had magic?   
  
"Arthur what—"   
  
Arthur glared sharply at Merlin.   
  
"An hour," he said, pointing up one finger to reiterate, "One hour I was supposed to be paying attention about the things my fellow advisors, councillors and knights wanted to inform me about the state of my kingdom. Yet I could not pay  _any_  attention to a  _word_ they were saying because I kept having the things you've been telling me twirling in my head refusing to leave, not allowing me to focus on anything but  _that_ !"   
  
Arthur let out a cry, exasperatedly. He walked up towards Merlin.   
  
"Merlin, why haven't you  _told_  me of your secret  _much_  earlier? Why have you been keeping this to yourself—I mean,  _Merlin_ , your father had died and you had to listen to my father saying things like he had been wishing to hear of Balinor's death for so long and you didn't have any time to mourn and acted as if nothing had happened and on top of that you had to set that aside and accompany me as we confronted the great dragon. How could you not  _tell_  me of this and bear the burden of this  _alone_ ?"   
  
Merlin sniffed as Arthur gave him a look of disbelief before giving him a fond smile. Oh Arthur... he always knew that his friend had a kind heart and to think he had been worrying himself over things that has been said, warmed his heart.   
  
"I wasn't alone! I had Gaius... and Gwen... and  _you_ , even if you did not know of the true reasons for my sorrows over my father's death—you did tried your best to cheer me up. And I had my mother too, even if it was hard to send her the letter to inform about my father's death. And it's not like I'm not used to bottling up my feelings and sorrows from other people. I bore the sorrows of losing the one person I had loved dearly, losing a friend who had sacrificed himself to protect me as well as the sorrows of hurting a  _friend_  for the sake of saving a whole kingdom. I think I should be able to bear with the death of a father I barely met and knew just fine, thank you. I could do that still, seeing that I still had other people that I cared for... at my side."   
  
Arthur shook his head. "That's not enough! That's no excuse to have to bear all of that in secret! Merlin... you had been there, waiting by my side when I was mourning for my  _own_ father's death. You had been there at times when I was at the lowest point of my life. Yet you—"   
  
Merlin grinned. "It's not like you haven't done the same for me, Arthur. Even when you didn't know of my secrets  _then_ , you had always tried to cheer me up when  _I_  was at my lowest, even if occasionally you did not do so—since you thought I was just lazing about and bully me to no end—but that's all right. Without you, what I did or what I'm supposed to do held no meaning whatsoever."   
  
Arthur shook his head. "Hah! The next thing you'd be saying is that we both needed each other so much like  _two sides of a coin_ ."   
  
Merlin snorted hard at the familiar phrase. "You have  _no_ idea how true that statement really was."   
Arthur rolled his eyes at him before sighing. "I'm sorry if you've suffered so much loss for my sake—stop interrupting, Merlin. I  _know_  I had suffered some losses as well—this was belated, but if there's  _anything_  I could make up for you—"   
  
"You could always give me a hug... now and then." Arthur stared at Merlin in horror, as the cheeky servant smiled his most cheeky smile. He sighed before opening his arms wide in invitation.   
  
Merlin grinned as he walked hurriedly into the invited embrace. He chuckled as he caught Arthur making some embarrassed sounds underneath his breath. He continued grinning as he embraced Arthur's body tightly.   
  
"Don't you think this  _feels_  nice, Arthur? To me, this was enough to compensate all those sorrys and thankyous you owed me all these years for watching your back in secret."   
  
"Shut up... Merlin," said Arthur, even as a soft smile started to form at the edge of his lips.   
  
"Ah!" Another voice broke the tender moment as Arthur hastily broke away from Merlin. Merlin chuckled as he noticed Arthur's embarrassment before turning to smile towards Gwen.   
  
"Glad to see both of you already made up. I'm starting to worry these few days seeing the two of you not acting like usual."   
  
Merlin snorted. "Yes, I agree. Though I believe Arthur would have preferring hugging  _you_  instead of me, regardless if I'm probably his most bestest best friend he's ever got," he said before receiving a kick from Arthur. Gwen laughed as she noticed Arthur's face started to turn redder than usual.   
  
xxx   
  
"So..."   
  
Merlin stared at Arthur, curiously. After Gwen had left them, they had resumed the talk they had before—which included him talking about Freya, Gilli... and even about him having to poison Morgana all those years ago because Morgause had used her to cast a spell on the whole of Camelot. It was a bit awkward actually, especially when they were talking about Freya; since Arthur  _insisted_ ... considering Merlin knew more about Arthur's love life rather than Arthur knew his—how did  _that_  came about? The issue right now was about Arthur finally learning about his magic and the impact it will give to Camelot... as well as Albion!—What else did this old prat of a king wanted to know from him?   
  
"Why?"   
  
Merlin frowned at him. "Why... what?"   
  
Arthur made a face at him as if he had been asking an obvious question and Merlin was too dense to understand it to get it.   
  
"Why did you do so much for me and sacrifice do much—don't talk about destiny, that was a weak excuse—why did you place so much hope and trust that I could be this great king you were saying I'm supposed to be? The king you said I'm going to become? The  _Once and Future King_ ?"   
  
Merlin smiled at him fondly. "Because you  _are_ ... noble and great and honourable. You might not notice it but every day of knowing you I've seen a glimpse of the great king you'll become. Greater than your father could ever hope to be. It's the same quality Gwen love in you, that Lancelot, Gwaine, Leon, Percival, Elyan and the many knights respected in you, what Tristan, Isolde, Will and many of your subjects saw. You gave hope of a peaceful and great kingdom to the people you serve—for that, what does it matter if I suffered some losses if I could bring about that future you're meant to inherit?"   
  
Arthur blinked at him, tongue-tied before Merlin noticed his cheeks started to flush another colour. Arthur hastily turned away before stuttering.   
  
"R-really... Merlin, the things that came out of your mouth—" said Arthur, flustered as Merlin grinned.   
  
"I can  _always_  flatter if you want me to—" Merlin started to say before stopping when Arthur gave him a horrified look. "But I assure you, I had my utmost faith in you as a great king—even now—even when Kilgharrah once faltered in that belief. I will always support you towards that certain future."   
  
Arthur continued staring at Merlin, the way Gaius often gave him whenever he caught him trying to hide something or lie about something and looking at him until he confessed. Merlin fluttered his eyelashes, trying to look innocent.   
  
"I've said the truth! I always have... aside from hiding from you about my magic. All of my words in the past had always been sincere... and  _honest_ —"   
  
Arthur looked at him warily. "Oh really...?" he asked as Merlin noticed Arthur's eye shifted towards where Excalibur was placed at the corner of the sleeping chamber.   
  
"Does that include what you told me last time about  _that sword_ ? Because Merlin... I've looked back on the historical records, and I see no hints of the things you've said to me at that time."   
  
Merlin bit his lips before grinning sheepishly. "All right... I  _did_  lie about that but the bit about Excalibur only belongs to you was true." Arthur cocked his head again as Merlin continued. "I asked Gwen for the best sword her father had ever forged and asked Kilgharrah to imbue it with his dragon breath to give it power to slay the undead. Kilgharrah insisted that you're the only one allowed to use it as Excalibur could do many evil if fell on the wrong hands. He was pissed at me at one time when I accidentally allowed your father to use it that one time. If I knew that he had drugged you and taken the opportunity to fight the undead Knight that time, I might have done something about it."   
  
Arthur rolled his eyes. "I'm  _not_  talking about  _that_  but thank you for that  _additional_  information. I'm talking about the part about me taking out the  _sword_  from the  _stone_ ."   
  
Merlin rolled his eyes back at Arthur. "What if I  _did_  made up that part of the story? It's still true that the sword was  _made_  for the  _Once and Future King,_  who would reunite the land of Albion and bring magic back into the land.  _You,_ " Merlin shrugged awkwardly.   
  
"Even if I  _did_  helped a bit by un-fusing the sword from the stone—because if I didn't do that, the sword would  _still_  be fused with the rock even if you  _could_ pull it out—you  _did_  pulled Excalibur out from the stone. There's no use of you pulling the sword out before I could  _fully_  restore your faith that you'd be a great king. I need you to  _truly_  believe in yourself that you can do it because it hurts me to see you so depressed and forlorn. Believe me, Arthur... aside from that I meant no harm."   
  
Arthur eyed him carefully. "So  _you're_  saying that you'd be the judge to see if I'm  _worthy_  of being Camelot's king?"   
  
Merlin gave him an odd look. "Since when did I say that? Or do you mean to say that I should not have told you about me aiding you to pull the sword out so that you could gloat that you pulled it out by your own power—?"   
  
Arthur broke into an easy laugh as he patted Merlin's shoulders. "No... no, I was only joking,  _Merlin_ ..." said Arthur, drawling his name slowly. He grinned. "What did I do to deserve such a loyal friend?"   
  
Merlin gave Arthur a smug look. "Well, for one... I thank you for not being  _just_  a simple annoying prat of a prince. Because of the fact that I realised that you  _do_  have a kind and noble and generous heart underneath all that pratness, I have a reason to believe in the destiny that ties the two of us together. It had been quite an enjoyable ride of an adventure with you and I'm glad to have been able to become your friend."   
  
Arthur grinned as he noticed the tinge of redness on the ears and cheeks of his beloved friend and servant. "And I, you. I've never had a fun but  _impolite_ servant like you in the past yet I'm glad I had the chance to know you."   
  
Merlin smiled weakly before sighing.   
  
"And now... we have come to this moment, finally. Now Arthur, what would you do about me, for currently Camelot's laws do not welcome people like me who could not help the fact that magic was a part of their being."   
  
Arthur let out a soft sigh before looking up towards him, appearing sorrowful.   
  
"Truth to be told dear friend, I do not know..."   
  
xxx   
  
The day after...   
  
Gaius walked up towards Merlin as he appeared to be distracted, leaving his breakfast porridge half-eaten. The old man shook his head before taking a seat opposite him.   
  
"What is it Merlin, what's bothering you now? If you continued to sit idly like this, Arthur would have surely made some fuss."   
  
Merlin shook his head. "No worries... I doubt Arthur would be his normal cheerful self either. I bet he's probably pushing himself too hard trying to find the best possible solution to one of the kingdom's most pressing problems..."   
  
Gaius blinked, before he gradually remembered that Arthur and Merlin spent a very long time together the other day. He gasped as he realised what had happened.   
  
"Oh Merlin... don't tell me, the other day you and Arthur's been together... did anything happened?"   
Merlin looked up towards his mentor before shrugging.   
  
"What else could have happen? I did  _owed_  him an explanation, so I gave it to him. I wished he'd be more angry at me, I'm more familiar with Arthur being all of his usual prattiness... rather than him being quiet and  _thoughtful_  and calm..." Merlin made an odd face as if he could not believe the word he was saying, before shaking his head. "It was weird actually... Arthur being  _extremely_  nice to me. I actually thought I liked it. Wonder if it could last... this treatment from Arthur."   
  
"He's actually really angry, you know? When he first brought you back—your injuries at the time was not  _that_  bad actually, did Kilgharrah healed your injuries before that?—Arthur had threatened me that he'd punish me if something were to happen to you under my care. He was really distraught and angry, but it was also evident that he was worried about you. You have not recovered awareness for several days despite your injuries only appeared to be on the outside." Gaius gave him a sly look.   
  
"You should have seen Arthur those few days. I pity the new knights he had been training as he seemed to have taken his frustration at the new recruits. I'm actually surprised that he did nothing short of yelling at you when you finally woke up."   
  
Merlin snorted. "Haha, he did said that his feelings about me had been complicated as of lately..."   
Gaius smiled weakly as he detected a note of worry in Merlin's voice. Merlin turned his glance towards him.   
  
"Gaius, what should I do? What do you think I should do? What do you think  _Arthur_ should do about me? I understand that change cannot be made overnight but if I am to be made to leave Arthur's side now before anything was made certain... a lot of things could happen and I'd leave him  _vulnerable_ . I  _know_  I shouldn't be selfish but I still wanted to help him, guide him and protect him until that dream of Albion could be made real. Still I  _know_ that remaining by his side would also pose danger for Arthur, now that he knew of my secrets. Arthur himself told me that he had no idea of what to do."   
  
Merlin cocked his head to the side as he continued. "I mean, the next step would be to lift the ban over magic in the kingdom so that people that have magic would no longer be persecuted unjustly. But Arthur can't just  _do_  that out of the blue, the members of the council would surely feel something amiss and some other issues might also surface if we're not careful. Yet, if we  _do_  nothing... we might risk something else happening and Albion might not be realized and my destiny...!"   
  
"Calm down, Merlin..." said Gaius hastily. "You shouldn't rush it, the matter should take its own course in due time. Trust yourself and the destiny both of you shared."   
  
Gaius shrugged. "Anyhow, it won't benefit you if you worry about it too much," he added as Merlin sighed.   
  
"I guess so..." said Merlin, more to himself before rising to leave the room.   
  
xxx   
  
"Good morning... good day..." said Merlin, almost too cheerfully to everyone he passed before heading towards Arthur's chambers. Suddenly without warning, he was dragged to the side as Gwen looked at him strangely.   
  
"What's wrong with you, Merlin? You suddenly became too cheerful for some reason."   
  
Merlin gave Gwen a neutral look. "What're you talking about? I'm always cheerful..." he said as Gwen stared at him wryly.   
  
"Oh  _sure_ ... is there something  _both_  of you were hiding? Because Arthur's been quiet lately and I thought the matter between the both of you had settled, but there  _still_  something bothering Arthur last night—"   
  
Merlin patted Gwen comfortingly. "I'm sure it was  _nothing_  so troublesome. Arthur should be  _fine_ ..."   
  
"Are you sure, Merlin? Because I had a sneaking suspicion that this had something to do with  _you_ . Arthur had been saying some things that were—Merlin, hopefully by any chance... you're not going to  _leave_  Camelot for some reason, are you?" asked Gwen worriedly as Merlin smiled awkwardly.   
  
"Of course... of course not, Gwen," he said as Merlin could tell his cheeks starting to burn. "I love both of you so much I could never leave Camelot unless there  _was_  something that I could not  _oppose_  that prevents me from remaining here."   
  
Gwen stared at him oddly before Merlin hugged her. "Don't  _worry_ . There's nothing wrong with me... and I'm so happy that both of you loved me so much that you don't want to part with me—" teased Merlin as Gwen started to laugh and slapped him on the back.   
  
He grinned before excusing himself to head towards Arthur's room.   
  
xxx   
  
Arthur looked up from his desk as Merlin walked in, looking very amused at seeing him already decent.  _See, Gaius... Arthur don't really desperately needing him so much now, seeing he now had Guinevere as his queen_ , he thought amusedly. Though, the thought of Arthur  _not needing him_  hurt a bit.   
  
Arthur frowned at him as he made some sounds to alert Merlin of his presence. Merlin immediately turned towards him.   
  
"A-oh! Is there anything you needed me for, sire?" he stuttered as Arthur rolled his eyes at him.   
  
"Honestly, Merlin... even if nowadays I occasionally not  _need_  you to get up and ready considering I had my own  _queen_  to fuss over me other than you, I still need you to help me on other matters. Though, with recent developments, I understand why you might be a bit  _distracted_ ."   
  
Merlin blinked at him in confusion. "Sire... what're you talking about?" he asked as Arthur continued giving him an odd look. He always liked to annoy Arthur by occasionally behaving like a polite,  _subservient_ servant on random odd days. But then, Merlin frowned.  _Wait a minute... what_ _**did** _ _Arthur meant actually?_   
  
Merlin turned towards Arthur as suddenly he looked a slight bit smug. By any chance... did Arthur already think up a solution regarding his  _secret_ ?   
  
Arthur frowned at him. "Don't look at me like that! It's not like I've  _already_  found a way to settle this problem." Arthur gestured Merlin to come a bit closer as he did.   
  
"I just realized that I could not do this  _alone_  and in a short time and the fact I still needed help on certain matters about magic as well as the fact I needed allies to support me on my future decisions..." Arthur looked up. "I realized that regardless of what decision I might take in future that might affect the vision of  _Albion_  you were thinking of, I still needed my loyal manservant,  _friend_  and  _advisor_  by my side to guide me towards it. I can't have that if your secret was exposed too soon before I could do something about it, which would lead to my having to banish you away from my side."   
  
Arthur stare at him slyly. "So seeing that you  _are_  so good at  _keeping secrets_ , I suppose why not... we continue keeping the secret a bit longer. This time with  _my_  consent."   
  
Merlin stared at his friend with mixed emotions, between wanting to cry or laugh or just hug the prattiness of a king sitting in front of him fondly. So  _this_ was the conclusion to his musings?   
  
He grinned. "Oh... that's so sweet of you, Arthur. I never knew you were  _that_  fond of me..." he said before Arthur started throwing random odd things on his desk at him.   
  
Merlin giggled as he slightly used magic to help him capture some of the projectiles before noticing the smile on Arthur's lips. He heard Arthur laugh.   
  
"Now that you've heard of my  _fine_  decision, you might as well grace me with some decent work for a servant in gratitude,  _please_ . I think I deserved a bit of my own rewards, thank you."   
  
Merlin grinned again as he batted his eyes towards Arthur. "Oh really?" he asked as Arthur threw a book towards his direction...   
  
xxx   
  
Arthur stood nervously beside Merlin on the vast clearing, as he noticed this place was quite near to the place where both of them nearly fell to their deaths. He wondered if this was a good decision, actually... to have suddenly come out here in the dark of night, to meet one who used to be their—his—enemy. But Merlin insisted, and if he recalled... the great dragon have not tried to kill him—a threat was a different matter—the last time he saw it.   
  
It was a bit unnerving though, to hear Merlin spoke in a language that sounded more dragon than human. He never thought he would see another side of Merlin that was not cheeky and clumsy.   
When the great dragon finally arrived, Arthur had resisted the urge to hide behind Merlin to the dragon's amusement. Arthur noticed that the smaller white dragon Merlin called Aithusa did not come along, well... perhaps he would keep that part to himself first before he was sure about it having any significance.   
  
Kilgharrah smiled before showing his regards towards Merlin.   
  
" **_I see that I have an unexpected guest tonight. To what aim that I am graced with such honourable presence, my young king?_ ** "   
  
Arthur fidgeted nervously before Merlin placed a hand on the young king's shoulders. Arthur nodded gratefully before turning towards Kilgharrah.   
  
"I heard about everything from Merlin, including the prophecy you've told him of the great kingdom he and I are meant to build. Honestly I don't really have that much confidence in myself to be able to reach that destiny... but I assure you that I'll do the best in my power in achieve it."   
  
Kilgharrah looked impressed as he nodded his head. " **_As it should be, young King Arthur. As you are destined to be a great king, so does Merlin in his greatness_ ** ."   
  
Merlin smiled as he noticed Arthur being slightly flustered. He never thought there be a day when Arthur and Kilgharrah can be in one place at the same time without fighting each other, but look now...   
  
"I'll try my best to meet that expectation you saw in me. I do not know how... yet, but I'll do my best regardless."   
  
Kilgharrah cocked his head. " _**Well... that is why Merlin is by your side. With both of you working together side by side, Albion... shall one day live. As long as my powers are needed, as long as Merlin deemed it so... I shall also aid you in achieving that destiny** _ ."   
  
Arthur bowed, out of courtesy. "I thank you, o great dragon... for much faith you've placed in me. I hope our past differences could be set aside in favour to the things we hoped to achieve in the future."   
  
Kilgharrah nodded before turning towards Merlin in reassurance. " **_As do I. Even though I once had lost faith in either of you, both of you had shown time by time again that you are worthy of my faith. You shall be a great king, young Arthur. Much greater than your father could ever hoped to be_ ** ."   
  
Arthur smiled as he recalled how much that line sounded so familiar. He turned towards Merlin.   
"I hope so. So that I could  _really_  become a king worthy of such loyal servant and friend."   
  
Merlin smiled back. Their journey henceforth might still be a long way to go, but hopefully one day their dreams could finally be fulfilled. Their progress might be slow in undertaking, doing things one at a time but if that lead to the creation of the greatest kingdom ever created... then the wait might be worth it.   
  
Then one day, perhaps there would be no more secrets left to hide...


End file.
